A little better
by TheLittleGoddess
Summary: Katniss asks Haymitch about his love life and he tells her something that helps her understand him a little better. Short and sad ficlet.


**Disclaimer: I don't own the hunger games.**

**AN: I might or not explain Haymitch and Adit's story a little better in another story. That depends on the reviews I get. I also apologise if Katniss is OCish**

"Haymitch, will you ever get a wife?" I ask him. We are sitting in the porch of my house, drinking tea. Well I'm drinking tea. Haymitch is having spiked coffee. Peeta had taken the kids to the bakery for the day and wasn't back yet. "No." He answers. "Why not?" I ask. I know I should drop it, but still. "Because the only woman I ever truly loved died a long time ago." He tells me simply.

"I'm sorry. Was it Maysilee?" I ask him, imagining losing Peeta, not really managing to keep the pain out of my voice and desperately trying to move on to a less painful topic. "Don't be. You never knew. And no. It wasn't Maysilee, although she was my first crush." He told me.

"Though I might have been the only living district twelve tribute in your time, I wasn't the first. The first was my mentor. She was sixteen years older than me, but she looked like she was only two years older. When I came back and my family was killed, she was the only thing that kept me from going worse than Annie." He tells me after a while

I raise my eyebrows. "Tell me more." I think he needs to get it all out now he started. "She was in love with my late elder brother. I never knew about him before she told me about him. He was a tribute in her games. They along with a guy from four were the final three. Then, my brother faced him and won, only he was wounded. He died in her arms after confessing to her and asking her to look after me if I were reaped." He said.

He laughed a little, which was good to hear. "Mind you, I wasn't even born. He gave her a token to pass on to me if that was the case too." His eyes gained a wistful look. "She died four years after I won my games. She died in peace, with her head on my shoulder telling me that I had to live my life the way I wanted to, and to live it fully." He murmured.

We stay in silence for a few minutes and it's surprisingly comfortable. "Katniss?" he calls out of the blue. "Yes?" I ask. "When I die, do me a favor. Burry me under the willow tree behind my house." He tells me. I nod but say nothing. What an odd request, considering it came from Haymitch

Many years pass, and eventually Haymitch passed on. When they were digging the grave under the willow, they found another casket. Sturdy and made from a dark wood. Silver letters on the side read _'Adit Cordia – Tribute, Victor, Mentor, Beloved'. _We replace the casket, put the earth back on top and make another hole beside it.

Later that night, I look up the list of district twelve tributes. Sure enough there is an entry under her name at the forty-fourth hunger games. She was dazzling with long brown hair and odd blue-grey eyes. Her district mate had been Cole _Abernathy._ Cole had been very similar to Haymitch. Actually the pair was exactly the same. The same typical seam appearance.

It must have been impossibly painful; being with some one some similar and so utterly different to the one you love. I think about being reunited with Peeta after he'd been high jacked. I compare that to the pain of losing him, knowing I could never have him back. That he was dead and buried, but his clone was right there, and knowing that whatever you might feel for him might actually be what you feel for some one else. Then I have to stop because the pain is excruciating. It was like Prim's death all over again.

In that second, I begin to understand Haymitch a little better. Why he would want to bury his sadness in alcohol. I wonder which was more painful. Loving some one and never being with them because she wasn't sure whether she loved you or your brother. Or loving someone and being with them and wondering if she loves you because you are you, or because you are just like your brother? And because I have no idea, and hoped to never find out, I closed the record, and walked away.


End file.
